Beneath the quiet surface I find polarities engaged in a rivalry. Perhaps you share a similar experience.I find there's one pole that makes demands of me to dig deep within to speak out, to stand up on issues that are weighty. The INSISTENT. The other pole pulls me to follow. THE BLISS, my bliss' heaviest requirement is to abandon the other. One entices the other sort of tramples. By nature I must protect and nurture. So we perform the dance of checks and balances.
I realize there are two children inside me that need developing, bringing along to maturity. How could I possibly choose one over the other? I cannot. Each one has its' important place in me and as the parent I must do what I can to satisfy each to actualize. I realize the squabbling between the two has caused this parent distress, depression, and to seek ways to escape the rivaling children inside. Now...now that I understand, I see my path more clearly.
I know this is no small thing. It may not be easy but it will be fulfilling. For the person who is me will become a functioning family encapsulated in one body of flesh assimilating to my highest self. Self actualization which is what the spiritual self aspires to and the spiritual Guiding Light within me has created me and you to become. A rite of passage to be celebrated in humility when the time comes. I am at the threshold, I get a glimpse of something larger than the sum of the parts. I call out for help for I know I will need it here in the state of liminality.
A song of ascents.1 I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.