PROTECT THE CHILDREN IN YOUR NEST!

Working in State Records has been such an eye opener about what mankind is capable of. I never knew of such heinous behavior until I began reading/working on the offender files. I was always one who didn't even care to watch the news because it was so full of negative. I have come full circle in my feelings and reactions about what I have seen. From anger, tears, to frustration, and mercy. I was reminded that Jesus died for the murderer, the child molester, as well as the gossip, the adulterer, and me.

I say full circle because I mesmerized myself into thinking that as a christian I shouldn't be angry over daddy's who rape their own little girls or boys. Or mommys who know what these daddys are doing and allow it to continue even though the child comes to them for help. Not the way I feel anymore. Someone needs to get angry and say SOMETHING!! The bible teaches us to be angry and not sin. It doesnt say dont be angry. I am angry and saddened by what is happening in my state and I am sure all states. I Don't want to just sweep it under the rug or keep it stuffed inside while it demolishes my heart because I'm not doing anything to try and help.

Parents need to realize what is commonly happening and maybe to one of your children's playmates. Be alert to the signs and find out what they are concerning other children. Be cautious of where you allow your children to spend time and who is there. Someone who can be trusted may have a visiting relative who is an undiscovered pedophile. This is a recurrent theme in the state records. (Please know there are some women pedophiles in the records I bear witness to but these are few by comparison.  Either they go unreported or there are few as the records indicate).

As a single mom for many years I have thought in hindsight that I was much too careful with my beautiful sons but now can say I was right in protecting them until they were old enough to take care of themselves. Am I trying to frighten you? Yes, into being the protector of your children and not a careless parent that might send your kids anywhere to have some peace and quiet. Most of you are probably smarter than that. God trusted your children to you, not to the 4 winds. I'll hush for now.

A YEAR OF HOLIDAYS FROM AN EMPTY NEST

EMPTY NEST / LONELY NEST ?  FEELING DISLOCATED? 

                                  You're not alone!

Lately, I have realized that  it is not always the thing on the outside that crushes the heart but a heart can faint, fail, misfire because of what is going on inside. As a singled mother of many years to 3 sons, now grown, I focused the majority of life on my sons. Keeping them involved in those things that would bring healthy growth and filling what could have otherwise been idle minds and hands.
Out of that kind of concentrated living as one who embraced motherhood responsibilities I knew I was the utmost important person in their lives. My life was full and I found self-worth and value in being their mother.

As my sons grew up and into careers, wives and homes of their own my motivation for anything began to drain. Being their mother had been the driving force in my life. Instead of maintaining a daily lectio divina with the Holy Spirit guiding me through this difficult time  I no longer had my motivating drive. Every good thing I did, I did for them and because of them. They were my supreme motivating factor. Otherwise I was slain by life. My ardent prayer was that God help me to be the kind of mother He would have me be.

In looking back I realize some of the times I got sidetracked. Always by my own human frailty. Yes, I smile, there were mistakes and after a few years of sorrow at seeing them I realize these were also part of the whole picture that God in His great mercy and compassion blessed us through in spite of. I tried unsuccessfully remarriage rather than concentrating on healing. I was too desperate. Still, He allows me to see the great good that was accomplished because of His love in me and His light in our lives. The reality of my imperfectness does not blot out what by His power alone was accomplished  in our poverty of not only finances but of earthly care from a family unit.

The three of us, however crippled by lack, were rich in love. Our great love for each other and God's great love for us. A love that loved us back.

My life as a mother and a good wife for 20 years, and then a single mom with an infant and toddler and adolescent son who are all grown and married by now has thus far been the pinnacle of accomplishment in my life. Motherhood has been my greatest achievement and highest earthly honor.

To become the lone person left in that nest has now become the great challenge of my well being. And the thing that was the source of my greatest strength has become the source of my greatest weakness. My Achilles heel

Even my heart began to fail me and I have wondered if this experience would be the end of my life on this earth so deep has the tear been to my psyche.
I have done, tried, all the goal setting, the positive life filling things I found to try but have only had periods of time I managed to stay afloat and then would go down for the count for longer and longer periods each time.

Each time the onset of the holidays brought deeper sinking. Holidays are as you know big family time, and with the standard of wonderful years of  Thanksgivings and Christmas shared I went under for the count again. This last season proved my lowest point, and now January, when all the tears had been cried and all the pain had been experienced,  I grasp for the one thing that would save me. I returned to the one thing that always saw me through. A love that loves us back.

My new motivating factor has now become to preserve my life and to not allow my heart to fail. To be the person God can be in me. For Him first. And by Him only. He has become the lifter of my head when there was no other. The friend who sticks closer than a brother.

In a One Month To Love blog I began to search for direction to grab hold of my only savior. I went back to week one to begin at the beginning and oh what an Electio Divina! The Holy Spirit used those simple living words to speak and give me much needed guidance. Here is the guidance I received!

“Cease striving and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.“ Psalm 46:10 (NASB)

My Electio Divina from the Holy Spirit to me, 'Doesn't that lead to strife inwardly and outwardly leaving you miserable and sick in heart? '

YES! YES IT DOES!

I humbly admit...confess, that after so many years in the exalted role of mother it was that importance, that exaltation, that feeling of love and worth and importance  that I fearfully held in a grip against the monsters in the mind desiring to take it from me!  Am I making sense at this point?
The bible tells us to, Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God and HE will exalt you in due time.  This speaks to me , Quit STRIVING to be exalted in your family with your friends and your work. STRIVING is a word full of negative meaning. Strife is what is brought about through striving and I am thankful to be guided by the word of God and the Holy Spirit through Lectio Divina that I received .

If you are interested in beginning your own ancient method of meditation to receive Holy Spirit guidance through that means here is a free website to help you know how to do that.

http://www.kerryandchris.org/2013/01/14/one-month-to-love-day-1/

WOW! CEASE STRIVING--Know that I AM GOD! Another scripture that comes to mind--
"Humble yourself under the mighty hand of God and I will exalt you in due time."  Humilty isn't an 'act', humility is an action.

This may all seem quite over the top for many but I assure you for the one who goes through the situation as with a lot of trials it is quite devastating. God has brought me through to this moment and I am strong in Him alone. I am thankful that God is faithful. And yes I have and have had many, many things to be grateful for, through all these 30 something years.

FIND THE GOOD THING TO DO AND DO IT!!!

HOW TO STOP GOSSIP

At work there are about 50 women in my department. We do not deal with the public, we deal with each other. This has proven to be an education in itself. Before this job I had never been around so many other females on a regular basis! Even with adults little clicks are formed and there are even office bullies! It has been interesting to me as one who observes human beings in social and family settings to see how some of my fellow cube dwellers behave concerning each other. Lately I have had some in your face dealings with a woman who operates like she is still in jr high school with the different people she interacts with at work. The most irritating thing she does is to constantly be talking about other people in an unkind, negative way.

~~Our office is very busy and people walk through with business in our department from other departments and if she is not engaged in work she will have to make a snide comment or slide her eyes around concerning them in an insulting way. You may remember what I am talking about from jr high. If the person who walks by could see her it would be insulting to say the least. This mid-forties teen understands the power of gossip and to gather friends/associates about her. The power of a rumor she weilds stealthily and she certainly and proudly professes her ability. I have personally received her threat for a rumor to be started if you get my drift.

~~As the older, more mature and (I don't apologize), more intelligent woman I have had moments when I was given the power of opportunity to slip little things in  when dealing with her that would have to cause her to look into the mirror. These times have been spiritually charged. I have even gone to my supervisor to talk to her about how I might deal with The Tongue. You see, she loves to have a story, a scoop that will always be full of inuendos and untruths that can ruin a persons reputation.

~~The story of hers that drove me to my supervisor's office was about someone who I know very well and has for the past year been down and out. I won't go into the details of her life except to say she needs compassionate support from friends.  But I have learned from the rumor mill cube dweller that there really are people who see those who are down and out merely as golden opportunities to mill.

~~These kinds of people are really bullies if you think about it. Choosing the weakened down and out to mill about. Ugh!

~~I want to tell you I was very open and specific with my supervisor in telling her I had not a notion how to deal with The Mill. I had of course stood up for my friend and had plenty to say which countered the Rumor Mill herself in front of her hungry listeners, mouths gaping like hungry birds. (She made a mistake to be milling loud and clear in my presence).

~~Not only did I go with detail and exasperation to my supervisor but I also went to the person she was talking about and told them exactly what had been said and who said it.

~~I have said all this because I know there are plenty of women who love a juicy story. Who love to gossip. I saw a pack of dogs one time that had awakened me with much barking in our back yard (where our bunny happily lived in a well built rabbit hutch) ripping and tearing our defenseless and innocent bunny as they all tugged him to pieces. It was a horrible, terrorizing frenzy that I have never forgotten. That is what a group of high gossiping women remind me of in their mindless gossip frenzy. If they are not ripping someone's character to shreds that isn't present then they are airing personal details that should be kept in confidence and only discussed in counsel. I despise it. Some do it so easily that snide remarks and criticism flow like hot vomit from their volcanoe burping up at a moments notice seemingly involuntary. A knee jerk reflex. What a very nasty kind of orgy.

~~To those readers who find themselves in this category I would ask, Is this the good thing to do girlies? NO! Find positive ways to express who you are and positive ways to vent. Find positive ways to pass time and communicate with friends and family.  Just find the good thing to do and do it!

•  Replace this bad habit with a good one.
•  Do kindnesses in secret.
• Target someone and say some nice things about them instead of finding or listening to the negative to spread.

~~I am happy to report that the Rumor Mill after some repercussions has taken to mostly reading during her break rather than milling. However, I did catch her sliding eyes as I passed between her and a new kid on the block today at work. I pray that as I just go about finding the good thing to do that this young lady will see the Rumor Mill for what it is and I pray we all do as well. I have faith in prayer.

FYI--Your comments are welcome.

FIND THE GOOD THING TO DO AND DO IT!

Lot of people waste their time in idle gossip and fault finding and criticism out of some negative need in their personality and to their own hurt eventually. Proud of my niece and my great niece for speaking the truth in love. God's truth which admonishes all who hear to do what is right, not a schema in their mind that will some day come tumbling down. Choose the good way ♥

Malachi 2:16 "For I hate divorce!" says the LORD, the God of Israel. "To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty," says the LORD of Heaven's Armies. "So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife."

For those of you who grew up in unbroken homes--
You never had to wait hours, days, sometimes months or years
To see your father/ mother, you probably don’t have abandonment issues.
You grew up with both of your parents. You don’t know what it is like to tell a child that daddy/momma isn’t coming to pick you up for the bi-monthly visitation that was promised
 and to hear that child scream and cry “daddy /momma promised he/she was coming today”
and to see the pain and sorrow in that little child’s eyes. Do you have any idea how that molds a child’s self-image or self-worth?
No, you don’t know. Comments invited.