Wednesday, January 16, 2013

HOW TO STOP GOSSIP

At work there are about 50 women in my department. We do not deal with the public, we deal with each other. This has proven to be an education in itself. Before this job I had never been around so many other females on a regular basis! Even with adults little clicks are formed and there are even office bullies! It has been interesting to me as one who observes human beings in social and family settings to see how some of my fellow cube dwellers behave concerning each other. Lately I have had some in your face dealings with a woman who operates like she is still in jr high school with the different people she interacts with at work. The most irritating thing she does is to constantly be talking about other people in an unkind, negative way.

~~Our office is very busy and people walk through with business in our department from other departments and if she is not engaged in work she will have to make a snide comment or slide her eyes around concerning them in an insulting way. You may remember what I am talking about from jr high. If the person who walks by could see her it would be insulting to say the least. This mid-forties teen understands the power of gossip and to gather friends/associates about her. The power of a rumor she weilds stealthily and she certainly and proudly professes her ability. I have personally received her threat for a rumor to be started if you get my drift.

~~As the older, more mature and (I don't apologize), more intelligent woman I have had moments when I was given the power of opportunity to slip little things in  when dealing with her that would have to cause her to look into the mirror. These times have been spiritually charged. I have even gone to my supervisor to talk to her about how I might deal with The Tongue. You see, she loves to have a story, a scoop that will always be full of inuendos and untruths that can ruin a persons reputation.

~~The story of hers that drove me to my supervisor's office was about someone who I know very well and has for the past year been down and out. I won't go into the details of her life except to say she needs compassionate support from friends.  But I have learned from the rumor mill cube dweller that there really are people who see those who are down and out merely as golden opportunities to mill.

~~These kinds of people are really bullies if you think about it. Choosing the weakened down and out to mill about. Ugh!

~~I want to tell you I was very open and specific with my supervisor in telling her I had not a notion how to deal with The Mill. I had of course stood up for my friend and had plenty to say which countered the Rumor Mill herself in front of her hungry listeners, mouths gaping like hungry birds. (She made a mistake to be milling loud and clear in my presence).

~~Not only did I go with detail and exasperation to my supervisor but I also went to the person she was talking about and told them exactly what had been said and who said it.

~~I have said all this because I know there are plenty of women who love a juicy story. Who love to gossip. I saw a pack of dogs one time that had awakened me with much barking in our back yard (where our bunny happily lived in a well built rabbit hutch) ripping and tearing our defenseless and innocent bunny as they all tugged him to pieces. It was a horrible, terrorizing frenzy that I have never forgotten. That is what a group of high gossiping women remind me of in their mindless gossip frenzy. If they are not ripping someone's character to shreds that isn't present then they are airing personal details that should be kept in confidence and only discussed in counsel. I despise it. Some do it so easily that snide remarks and criticism flow like hot vomit from their volcanoe burping up at a moments notice seemingly involuntary. A knee jerk reflex. What a very nasty kind of orgy.

~~To those readers who find themselves in this category I would ask, Is this the good thing to do girlies? NO! Find positive ways to express who you are and positive ways to vent. Find positive ways to pass time and communicate with friends and family.  Just find the good thing to do and do it!

  •  Replace this bad habit with a good one.
  •  Do kindnesses in secret.
  • Target someone and say some nice things about them instead of finding or listening to the negative to spread.

~~I am happy to report that the Rumor Mill after some repercussions has taken to mostly reading during her break rather than milling. However, I did catch her sliding eyes as I passed between her and a new kid on the block today at work. I pray that as I just go about finding the good thing to do that this young lady will see the Rumor Mill for what it is and I pray we all do as well. I have faith in prayer.

FYI--Your comments are welcome.

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